


At the Bottom of the Bay

by sajastar



Series: Talking to Yourself [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Alien Culture, Bodysharing, Boundaries, Cultural Differences, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, QPR Eddie Brock/Venom, fun with pronouns, qpr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 22:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16396562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sajastar/pseuds/sajastar
Summary: Sinking to the bottom of San Francisco Bay is the perfect time for an open conversation about consent and cultural differences with your still-sort-of-new alien bodymate.





	At the Bottom of the Bay

**Author's Note:**

> TW - drowning/suffocation. No one actually drowns but still.  
> It's my first fic, guys! Tell me what you think. Concrit is always appreciated.

“V, that’s the bay,” Eddie warned, though he didn’t stop running.  


**DON’T BE A PUSSY, EDDIE.** The symbiote briefly snatched control to jerk him out of the way of a bullet.  


“I can’t breathe in there,” he pointed out. Venom knew his biology literally inside and out, but sometimes it needed a reminder.  


**NO, BUT WE CAN.  
**

“If you say so.”  


**I DO SAY SO.  
**

“Alright.”  


**ALRIGHT.  
**

They hurled themselves off the dock. Before they even hit the water, Venom was seeping out of their skin, wrapping itself around Eddie. As they plunged into the bay, Eddie felt the cold and wet vicariously through the thick coating of goo. With Venom’s eyes, he looked up at the surface, where blurry city lights streaked the blackness, and started to kick towards it. Venom didn’t force him to be still, but it resisted just enough to let Eddie know it disagreed.  


Eddie paused, unsure of Venom’s plan, but didn’t inquire. He couldn't exactly open his mouth right now, and opening his mind was, well, opening his mind. He didn’t do it unless he had to. After their last little talk, Venom wouldn’t take advantage to pry (maybe, probably) but information always seeped out anyway. He didn’t have anything specific to hide, but he could do without Venom’s peanut gallery on his most personal memories. Venom, of course, always kept its mind open to Eddie. Privacy was not in its nature. The two were still learning to accept that difference.  


His lungs—their lungs—were starting to burn. Before he could react, he felt liquid welling up inside them. That didn’t make sense. How had the water gotten in? He didn’t remember trying to take a breath. The next logical thought was interrupted by an immediate spasming as their chest struggled to eject the foreign substance. Eddie fought the urge to cough and retch, but he couldn’t suppress it for long. Against his will they started to gasp, but the symbiote was still covering their face and mouth. Their diaphragm strained to pull something, anything into their chest, but it was like having a plastic bag over their face. Eddie dropped his mental guard to scream, _Venom!_  


**EDDIE! IT IS ME. WE ARE NOT DROWNING. DO NOT BE SCARED.  
**

Eddie felt Venom picking its way through the brainstem, locating the reflexes to cough and gasp and deftly switching them off. The panic receded. Their diaphragm was still fighting against the black mass over their mouth and nose. Venom casually switched off their breathing as well.  


Eddie tried not to freak out. He was slightly freaking out. _You can do that? Just turn off neurons?_  


**IT IS NOT DIFFICULT.  
**

It felt his horror and echoed back confusion.  


**I AM HELPING** , it stated uncertainly.  


_Yeah, I know,_ Eddie reassured it. _It’s just…_ He didn’t know how to explain. It didn’t probe his thoughts, intuiting that now was not the time to push, but he invited it to look anyway. Dispassionately, it examined his terror at the sensation of their unmoving chest, at the darkness above, at the warm nothingness he was floating in.  


**EDDIE. YOU ARE NOT DEAD.**  


_I know. It still feels creepy._

The deep, primal panic of liquid filling his lungs and covering his mouth and nose.  


**I AM KEEPING US SAFE.**  


_I know!_

The violation of another entity rummaging in his brain—their brain?—no! his brain—and shutting down his most fundamental instincts as casually as flipping a light switch.  


**DID I DO THE WRONG THING.** He could always sense a question, even when it wasn’t apparent in Venom’s tone.  


_No. Yes. I’m not sure, V._ He tried to calm himself. His go-to was to take deep breaths, which wasn’t an option at the moment.  


**THEY WERE GOING TO SHOOT US.**  


_Yeah, but a little warning next time. Or better yet, a say in the matter._  


**WHY?** It asked, genuinely confused. **WOULD YOU HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY?**  


_No._  


**THEN WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO REFUSE?**  


_It’s less scary. It would still be scary, but it wouldn’t be, y'know. It'd be okay that way._  


**OKAY.** There was a resigned, if-you-say-so tone in its voice. **EDDIE, IS THIS AN ICEBERG PROBLEM,** it asked.  


They’d had a fight, right at the start of their relationship, about Eddie’s unwillingness to share his thoughts. As foreign as the subject was, the fight itself had been ironically typical: a huge blowout, followed by a stint of mutual sulking. Venom had seen Eddie’s barriers as a rejection. Eddie had seen Venom’s digging as a disrespect of boundaries. Both took it personally. In the aftermath, Venom had combed through Eddie’s memories, looking for the root of his illogical behavior, and by chance come across the memory of a mandatory cross-culture seminar he’d attended at work. It had rapidly become Venom’s go-to way of understanding their occasional conflicts.  


It played back off a fragment of that seminar now to clarify its meaning: “Culture is like an iceberg,” the presenter droned, reading directly off his slides. “Some parts are obvious, like clothes and food. Others lurk beneath the surface. Invisible differences in beliefs, worldviews, and values are the most common causes of intercultural conflict, and the hardest to resolve.”  


_Yeah, exactly._  


**BUT YOU HUMANS LIKE SURPRISES.** It reminded him of the tediousness of wrapping presents that the recipient would just tear open anyway. It reminded him of surprise parties, and sudden hugs, and secretly doing someone’s chores for them before they got home from work.  


_Safe surprises,_ Eddie insisted. _Nice surprises. Not mind-controlling, breath-stopping surprises. Those are scary._  


**YOU LIKE SCARY THOUGH,** Venom protested. It flashed memories of horror movies, haunted houses, roller-coasters. Seeing the memories from Venom’s perspective was strange. Eddie could taste his own neurochemicals: adrenaline, cortisol, and others he didn’t know the names for.  


_Yeah, when I have warning and choice,_ Eddie reiterated. He felt Venom concede. _And shutting off parts of my brain never, EVER happens without my permission._ He tried to sound stern, but there was no hiding the way his stomach turned at the thought.  


It didn’t outright ask, but he felt its confusion and answered the unspoken question. _This may be_ our _body now, but my brain is still my brain. I need to know that it'll stay that way._ If he couldn’t control his own thoughts… he shut that line of thinking down quickly, but Venom seemed to pick up on it anyway. He felt its brief flare of panic as it saw the possibility of separation.  


**I COULD NOT INTRUDE ON YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, EDDIE,** Venom assured him. **YOUR REFLEXES ARE A DIFFERENT MATTER.** He felt it searching his experiences for a way to phrase this in human terms. **THEY ARE MORE BODY THAN MIND. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?**  


_Sure, I think so. Still a hard no, though._  


**THERE IS NO REASON TO BE AFRAID. IF YOU RESISTED, YOU WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY SUCCEED.**  


_I've played that game before, remember?_ Eddie thought bitterly. He flashed back to their first battles together, Eddie struggling with every ounce of willpower in him as Venom dragged him around like a rag doll. Regardless of how things had changed since, it was not a happy memory, and he let Venom feel the intensity of it.  


**YOU WERE INEXPERIENCED,** Venom explained. **I HAD THE ADVANTAGE. I WAS YOUR FIRST SYMBIOTE. YOU WERE NOT MY FIRST HOST.**  


_You’re sayin' I just hadn't learned to take back control yet?_  


**YOU FOUGHT IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, AT FIRST,** it explained vaguely. **NOW YOU FIGHT ME ALL THE TIME.** It pulled up memories from the last several weeks as proof.  


_You let me win those fights,_ Eddie objected.  


**BECAUSE I LIKE YOU,** it agreed. **THE POINT IS, YOU HAVE PRACTICE NOW, EDDIE.** It dredged up other memories of that rocky beginning. They came from a strange, joint perspective, and Eddie was unsure if the memories were his or Venom’s. That first day, when their bond was still settling, there hadn’t been much distinction.  


As he felt out the memory more carefully, he realized Venom wasn’t wrong. Past Eddie had been going about things the wrong way, struggling to control mental muscles he didn’t even know existed. It was like looking at your arm and wanting it to move. All the willpower in the world was wasted if you tried to think it into happening. You had to just do it.  


Now that push and pull between him and the symbiote felt as natural as moving a limb.  


_Huh. Good to know._  


To his surprise, it seemed put out by his relief. **YOU DON’T TRUST ME?**  


_V, I do. It’s not about trust. I trust you with my life, but that doesn't mean I don't want, y'know, autonomy._  


**IN CASE I BETRAY YOU.**  


_No! I just need to know that I have free will,_ Eddie insisted. _If I don’t, there is no us, really. There’s just you._  


Free will. Us. Venom could understand that. Eddie hadn’t noticed how tightly it had been clinging to them until it relaxed.  


He resisted the impulse to sigh and looked around them again. _How are we not dead? Are you fixing us?_  


**WE ARE NOT BROKEN,** Venom replied stiffly. **I WOULD NOT LET US GET BROKEN.** Eddie didn't miss the unspoken “if we can help it” at the end.  


_Just outta curiosity,_ could _you fix us? If we drowned?_  


**I WOULD NOT LET US DROWN, EDDIE!** Venom insisted. He tried to push the question aside and soothe his symbiote, but it sensed his lingering curiosity. **PERVASIVE CELLULAR DAMAGE IS MORE DIFFICULT THAN INJURY,** it said noncommittally.  


Pervasive cellular damage… _Holy shit, V, can you reverse aging?_  


Venom didn’t reply, but he sensed its discomfort. Probably a no, then. Probably. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but on some level it was a relief.  


At that, Venom sent a wave of reprimand and despair. Eddie let the thought go. Venom did not like reminders of his mortality. It found the human “memento mori” attitude frightening and vaguely distasteful. Another cultural difference, Eddie supposed.  


_So how are you doin' this?_ he asked, changing the subject. Venom was always fond of showing off.  


**I AM VERY GOOD AT CHEMICAL ABSORPTION,** it said smugly.  


_You’re absorbing oxygen from the water? Oh, that’s why you’re in our lungs,_ he realized.  


**I COULD TRANSFER IT DIRECTLY TO OUR BLOODSTREAM. BUT LUNGS WANT TO DO THEIR JOB. IT IS EASIER TO LET THEM THAN TO DO IT FOR THEM.**  


_Huh._ While Eddie was getting the hang of not-breathing through the symbiote, he still wanted to return to the surface as soon as possible. Venom pressed him with a feeling of caution. No harm in waiting. Best to be sure their attackers were gone. The two floated in silence for a moment. Eddie found his mind drifting back to their previous topic.  


Venom seemed to sense it. **THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD TALK MORE OFTEN,** it complained.  


_V, what are you talkin' about? We talk all the time. You never shut up._  


**THAT DOESN'T COUNT,** Venom said with disdain. It was not fond of talking with mouths.  


_Works fine for us humans,_ Eddie said with more amusement than heat. There was another minute of silence.  


**I ASSUMED YOU WOULD KNOW CERTAIN THINGS,** it mused at last.  


_What d'you mean?_  


Rather than use language, Venom replied in concept. The idea of their bond, balanced and nuanced. Unique.  


It was not supposed to be this way. Symbiotes were not meant to get attached to their hosts. Hosts were not expected to welcome their symbiotes. They might be manipulated into accepting the invasion for a while, but in the end it was always a battle. And if it had been a battle, Eddie would have eventually figured things out on his own: how to push back, when he had the advantage, what his limits were.  


Instead, they had compromised. This was a new thing, no rule book, just figuring it out together. That meant that sometimes, despite having been born for symbiosis, Venom didn’t know what it was doing any more than Eddie did. Didn’t know what would come naturally, and what had to be spelled out.  


**YOU HAVE MORE SAY THAN I THINK YOU REALIZE, EDDIE. OUR BOND CAN GO BOTH WAYS.**  


For a second Eddie was confused. Of course their link went both ways. They were talking, weren’t they? Then Venom reached out with another concept, and the statement rearranged itself. Holy shit.  


Cautiously, he reached out with his mind. Venom let him, doing the mental equivalent of stepping back to give him space.  


Eddie held out a hand. Though he couldn’t see it in the darkness, he felt the tendril of black goo extend up from their palm, twining cautiously through the polluted water. He pulled it back. Holy shit.  


Venom was radiating satisfaction. It had been waiting for this for a long time. It had been avoiding asking because it assumed his reluctance was another incomprehensible bit of human culture.  


**YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ALWAYS ASK. YOU CAN _DO._**  


_I don’t know about controllin' your body without permission, V,_ Eddie protested.  


**OUR BODY,** Venom chided.  


_Our body,_ he echoed wonderingly. He had always understood that phrase to mean what had formerly been his body. He’d never considered that it included Venom’s body too.  


In its abstract, wordless way Venom suggested that enough time had passed, and Eddie began to kick their way to the surface, cutting an angle to be sure they’d come up well away from where they’d entered.  


The two remained silent as they jumped up to grab the edge of the dock and dragged themself—themselves—up onto the pier. The slime drained out of their lungs, letting in the smell of fish and gasoline. Eddie drew it deep into their chest. For the first couple seconds, he had to consciously remember to breathe before Venom put their brainstem back in order and it started happening on its own again.  


The coating of goo melted away. They weren’t even damp.  


Firmly but gently, Eddie pushed Venom out of his thoughts and reinstated the barrier on his end. Venom, as always, left its line open.  


**YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION, EDDIE,** it offered. Then it added, with a touch of humor, **IT WOULD BE NICE NOT TO DO ALL THE WORK ONCE IN A WHILE.** He could feel its teasing, but he could feel its earnestness too. It still felt a little weird, but he supposed it was Venom’s prerogative to set its boundaries where it liked.  


“Okay. But y'know you can always take that back, right?”  


As they started walking back to their apartment, it brought out the memory of them in Mrs. Chen’s store, of their shared voice saying, _**WE ARE VENOM.**_  


**WE ARE EDDIE, TOO,** it informed him.  


“That’s good, that’s good. Y'know, I do enjoy being Eddie,” Eddie said with a smile.  


As always, Venom couldn’t resist having the last word. **NOT SUCH A PARASITE NOW.**


End file.
